So Happy I Could Hop!

Wow, what a great day!

I felt perfect until about 1 pm today, after I ate lunch (cottage cheese & peaches w/ baked apple).

Just some pressure in my right temple so I iced it for twenty min. then went for a walk. By the time I was done walking I was back to a 100%. The cold, crisp air felt so good. I've been using ice lately and it really seems to help. Headaches can go away in an hour or so and w/out medicine. This is such a welcome change from Hell Week (last week of October).

I needed the break and the encouragement.

Only 2 more day until Botox....

I'm so happy I could do the bunny HOP!

This is getting really old....

This is getting really old....I woke up with another headache after spending all day yesterday with a mild one. It's hard to keep a good attitude.

My pain was at a three but my thinking was really slow and I was feeling kind of out of it. There was nothing here at home that I am allowed to take, and remembered the IV magnesium for "rescue."

This was a rescue kind of a day.

I know the magnesium didn't work last time, and my pain got worse a few hours afterward, but I also got it when my pain was really high to start with.

Because my pain was at a three I figured that if it worked, my body would respond to it better since things weren't out of control. And, if it didn't work, then we'd know and could move onto something else.

So, the hubs drove me an hour to get the treatment, and sure enough, no change in pain. On the way home (another hour...obviously...) it started to pick up. Without even asking him, the hubs drove me over to Urgent Care because they hadn't closed yet. To see what they could do for me. I was starting to get really discouraged too. The good attitude I had earlier had completely faded and I was pretty down.

The nurse that was helping me was nice enough, but she was asking me all kinds of questions that I was annoyed with. Like, don't you have a doctor helping you with this? Haven't they given you this or that medication? Have they given you this....Do you have a neurologist?

Yes, yes and yes I answered and geesh, I just wanted a stinkin' drug to get rid of the pain. I could overhear her talking to the doctor and it was like: what are we going to do w/ that lady w/ a migraine. I mean, I have been in and out of migraine treatments a lot over the past week.

So she comes into give me the shot of torredol and I had been crying. Like, the booger/snot/gooey/yuck kind of crying. Just so despondant and so tired. So, so tired. And, she's like, you shouldn't cry because that'll make it worse.

Like freakin' duh!!! I've only had these since i was EIGHT YEARS OLD...I think I know that crying makes it worse but I CAN'T TAKE IT.

I totally wanted to smack her.

I could tell I was being kind of short with her and apologized, I just told her that it wasn't her and I was having such a difficult time handling it all.

As soon as I got the shot I left the joint and my hubby could tell that I was over the top upset. He sort of got in my face (in a good way) and we went home. The pain decreased a little. Like down to a three from a five. Not good enough. I waited a few hours and decided to take a frovatriptan. I wanted to wait a few more days as I'm only supposed to treat 2 a week, but when the mental health starts to fade, what are you going to do? Also, I just had to get by until my doctor gets back on Monday and I can tell him what a tough time I've been having. Also, when I had gotten home from the doctor, I took an Ativan to calm down and relax which I knew would help me get rid of the headache and help me wait until the pain went away. I think I also took 2 aleve before I took the frovatriptan, and that didn't seem to help either.

However, I am happy to say that within an hour the frova worked and it was such a relief. I went in my hallway and took this self-portrait of myself. Because this is what the real me looks like when I'm tired, discouraged and hurting.

What will tomorrow bring? I'm trying not to think about it.....

Satisfied

Today was not a perfect day, but I'm so satisfied with it. I woke up with my symptoms being irritability (not terrible but there) and sensitivity to noise. Is this an aura? Have to find out about that.

Sent the kids off to school and went walking. Gosh, it was really raining but I better get used to it. As Winter is 1/4 of the way here, it's always warmer when it rains. And here, it rains a lot. So I have a plan, I bought an obnoxius looking rain slicker and a dorky hat but it will work. Even so, today my pant legs got wet. But the fresh air felt good on my face. When I am feeling this way I don't do well when it's stuffy and always want cold air on my face, so it was perfect.

My pain didn't get any worse so I went to the grocery store. It's dangerous to go when I'm not perfect because sometimes I'll get worse. But at the same time, I can't wait around because I'll never go. Besides, I was waiting for payday and we were out of so many things. As soon as the money hit the account I was walking down the grocery aisles.

I could have saved the shopping for the hubs, but I've decided to go on a massive elimination diet. It is so worth any sacrifice to even 1/2 my pain days and try to avoid I.V. treatment. Don't get me wrong, it's helpful but not easy. It's not the needle or the I.V. itself, it's how the drugs make you feel. Besides, pain @ the level it takes to get me there is no picnic. So, I wanted to get some things to help me feel like I have something to eat. I even found some cookies that have just a trace of soy which is one of my biggo offenders. (don't ask me how I'll avoid this in Thailand....)

Got home from the grocery store and felt great. Think it took me a little too long to eat lunch though. Although I did have an unripe banana and Koala rice bar for a snack @ 11:30. Had to make my Vietnamese rice paper rolls for lunch though. Maybe I'll post the recipe if anyone comments or e-mails and is interested. Pretty dang tastey and quite different from things we normally eat here....us caucasin americans.

I felt a bit more pressure after lunch and the pain went to a 2. But the weird thing was how much my thinking shut down. I just thought it did when it got to a 3 or a 4 but I think it's one of the symptoms in general. I just took it easy the rest of the day, used tiger balm a couple of times, iced once, stayed in a dark room but did watch television. Just kicked back.

It is so totally rare that when I start off like this that I stay @ this level. Makes me wonder if it was just decreasing the sugar, wheat, yeast, etc. that I was sort of withdrawling from. It's not just a piece of cake going off those things. Anyway, I am SO SATISFIED. I have been waiting for a day like this for at least a year. Maybe longer. Sometimes my pain will just stay @ a 3 all day, but this is even an improvement on that.

I am determined to follow through on this elimination plan and I won't even call it a diet. More of a life change. I've done it before but added stuff back. And it was hard to tell what was bothering me. Within a couple of months I'll know if it helps and then I will KEEP DOING IT. It's worth the sacrifice to be different because I'm different anyway....

Oh, and it must be emphasized that I didn't take any medicine today. I sure hope I can get to @ least Monday before I need frovatriptan because the goal is that I only treat 2 migraines/headaches a week.

Some Interesting Quote and Food For Thought...

My grade school/high school/migraine/ chronic pain friend Steph sent me http://www.nwcn.com/sharedcontent/health/stories/101706cckkHEALTHfibromyalgia.4aaae4d9.htmltonight. It's a story about a woman with Fibromyalgia, but there's a quote in the story that I really could relate to.

It's a short, interesting story. One of the things it touches on is people not understanding, the mood disorders it causes or is related to, and most importantly, the realness of the condition regardless of whether or not people understand the suffering of those that are afflicted with chronic pain.

"Almost everything in medicine can be measured or tested or read from an x-ray. But pain remains elusive. There's nothing to go on but the word of the sufferer that something hurts. No dial or readout can tell how much." (Bill Marevl/The Dallas Morning News)

*If you are praying for me, 1) pray for my kids and my husband that they won't be angry and resent what's happening 2) pray for my trip to Thailand Jan. 8-18 that my doctors will let me go and that I will have plenty of pain management techniques in place so that I don't end up in the hospital over there 3)pray for endurance when things get bad that I will remember the good things to live for and to remember that "this too shall pass..."

*If you are in chronic pain I pray that you are encouraged to know that you are not alone, for peace in the midst of trials, for hope that things will get better and patience to keep you going until they do.