Sunday, December 10, 2006

rough water and good times

starbucks, tracey and a cup of joe
Better start off with Saturday December 9th. Woke up with a headache so took the compazine and then gave myself a DHE shot 20 min. later. Of course, like usual, my leg hurt very bad for a while and I had to limp for an hour and a half, but because my pain was at a 4 when I took it, it didn't take very long at all to feel better.

I was able to conduct the rest of my day, to visit with my friend who was travelling from Montana and to go to Home Group which is a dinner gathering/fellowship time with people from our church. My head did start hurting late in the evening though. I tried so hard to watch what I ate (they ate chinese food and I ate a hot chicken sandwich). But we did watch a movie on a big screen, and like the last time I did that, the sound and noise bothered me. I am going to have to be mindful of that next time I'm in that situation.

So today, the 10th, I woke up with a headache. This is where it gets tricky because I totally had exhausted all the meds I could take w/ what I've been perscribed. I did take 2 Aleve but that's borderline whether I should have taken it or not. I went to church and wore my earplugs because I wanted to go and I was hoping to sell more calendars (I sold 1 :-) ) But my pain got up towards a 4 so I took 2 percocet which are my perscription but not something my neurologist wants me to be taking. After a few hours my head was still hurting so I went to Urgent Care clinic and got a torredol shot. An hour or so after I returned home my head felt much better. A few hours ago it felt like it was coming back but for some reason that feeling went away and I am feeling great now. I was quite groggy from the percocet for a number of hours but that feeling has subsided as well.

I need to scroll back on the blog here and figure out how many consecutive days I have been having pain recently because it's been at least a week. This is not o.k. for me so I think I'll e-mail the neuro tomorrow and let him know what is going on, looks like 6/10 days I've had headaches. Guess it was a little exaggeration today from saying that everyday this week I had one. Actually, I thought it was 6/7 days but things were a little better than that. Still with this kind of frequency, that's what it feels like!

Man I hope tomorrow's a good day! Oh, I was really tearful today, I don't know what was going on, could be something hormonal. Time will tell.

Well, this wouldn't be a truthful account if I didn't mention some of my thoughts recently. A friend of mine who shall remain completely anonymous said that her friend smokes weed. I've really been thinking lately that I would like to try it and see if it helps control migraine frequency or reduce pain. If it is something that helps I would approach my doctor and see if I could get a perscription for it.

I am quite nervous about talking to my doctor about it, but I also have a personal policy of being honest to the point of transparency. This is quite a big stretch I've reached, I think, to take this kind of drastic action, since it is illegal without a perscription. My main concern though, honestly, is to improve my quality of life. And, I have no intention of not pushing my doctors to provide this for me, or more importantly, give medical permission for me to use it if it helps.

There's a lot of controversy that surrounds this I know, especially as a Christian. I feel like in my own heart that this should be the last on a long list of things one should try. I have honestly no idea - exactly- how long the list of medications is that I've tried. But I noticed my neuro had about three pieces of paper stapled together of medications that I've taken/currently taking.

It's insane really. Everything I'm on so far is not doing it for me. I will have to increase dosages or add something else. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally willing to do that. But I'm also willing to try accupuncture, and I'm finding myself totally ready to try weed.

Of course I don't want to get caught, but I believe if fear is a thing I struggle with, I have more fear of my pain being frequent and/or out of control than getting busted for smoking pot. And, like I said, I must irriterate that I have ever intention of insisting that my doctor write a perscription for me if it works. I have a strong ethical need to be completely honest and I may even be so honest as to notify my doctor, before I try it illegally and let him know that is my plan.

hmmm....many things to think about.

another interesting week in the life of a chronic pain patient.

let's hope this last bit of honesty doesn't bite me in the butt, but then again, I am trying to deal with this problem I don't want and didn't ask for, the best way I can. And I'm trying to keep a humble approach about it all. Let's just say that more and more, I'm beginning to understand more about what others go through in life, and any judgements I've had, are slowly slipping away.

Understanding is a good thing, unfortunately it comes at a stinkin' high cost.

5 comments:

CameraDawktor said...

testing the comments....1,2,3

Suzanne R said...

I voted to let marijuana be legalized for medical purposes here in Oregon, as I feel that there are lots worse drugs being prescribed in the world of health care. I hope you are able to get it legally, if it is the answer for you.

CameraDawktor said...

thanks suzanne r. i probably would have voted against it, but the more i'm learning about severe chronic pain, i think you are right. although, maybe again, maybe not. it's just something i don't know a whole lot about.

what i do know is this. trying all these meds, and i've tried a lot, is such a loooong process. each thing you try takes 2 mos. and each dosage increase takes 2 mos. i've had a few years of trying things and i'm probably facing a few more.

now, my doctor is ordering "rescue" meds that i get in an i.v. when my frequency gets up and i have to minimize the things i take at home. as of now, i have to travel (meaning someone has to take me and someone else has to watch my kids) when i go and get them.

it would just be so nice to be able to take care of myself at home.

i am really wanting to try it. i am already taking drugs that i have to show my i.d. and sign for which means they are hardcore. to me, marijuana is no different. i feel like if i try it and it helps then i can get a perscription for it.

i like being honest, and telling the truth. i don't like the idea of doing things that are illegal. i like to follow the rules. one thing i could do is contact the pain clinic i went through and discuss the matter with them.

i'm a little afraid of mentioning this to my doctor and, deciding which doctor to approach. i don't want to come off as a druggie, but then again, i am already taking a lot of drugs (perscription), like 7, while not all of them are daily.

i appreciate your friendship suzanne, and your kindness and understanding.

Suzanne R said...

I looked up the information for the Oregon Medical Marijuana Program and you can find it here, while a Washington medical marijuana information site is here. I think the Oregon site is more official -- I couldn't find a similar one for Washington.

I can understand your mixed feelings. I had a family member who was on pot as a teenager and it wasn't known until after he became a young adult, had quit using it, and admitted to having done so. He almost didn't graduate from high school because of using it. However, I think there's a big difference between a healthy young teenager using it to escape and an adult who is needing it to alleviate medical symptoms that can't be gotten rid of any other way.

I think you are a very special person and I am glad for our friendship, as well.

CameraDawktor said...

thanks suzanne r, i totally agree w/ these thoughts. thanks for sharing them, i appreciate it a lot.