rough water and good times

Better start off with Saturday December 9th. Woke up with a headache so took the compazine and then gave myself a DHE shot 20 min. later. Of course, like usual, my leg hurt very bad for a while and I had to limp for an hour and a half, but because my pain was at a 4 when I took it, it didn't take very long at all to feel better.

I was able to conduct the rest of my day, to visit with my friend who was travelling from Montana and to go to Home Group which is a dinner gathering/fellowship time with people from our church. My head did start hurting late in the evening though. I tried so hard to watch what I ate (they ate chinese food and I ate a hot chicken sandwich). But we did watch a movie on a big screen, and like the last time I did that, the sound and noise bothered me. I am going to have to be mindful of that next time I'm in that situation.

So today, the 10th, I woke up with a headache. This is where it gets tricky because I totally had exhausted all the meds I could take w/ what I've been perscribed. I did take 2 Aleve but that's borderline whether I should have taken it or not. I went to church and wore my earplugs because I wanted to go and I was hoping to sell more calendars (I sold 1 :-) ) But my pain got up towards a 4 so I took 2 percocet which are my perscription but not something my neurologist wants me to be taking. After a few hours my head was still hurting so I went to Urgent Care clinic and got a torredol shot. An hour or so after I returned home my head felt much better. A few hours ago it felt like it was coming back but for some reason that feeling went away and I am feeling great now. I was quite groggy from the percocet for a number of hours but that feeling has subsided as well.

I need to scroll back on the blog here and figure out how many consecutive days I have been having pain recently because it's been at least a week. This is not o.k. for me so I think I'll e-mail the neuro tomorrow and let him know what is going on, looks like 6/10 days I've had headaches. Guess it was a little exaggeration today from saying that everyday this week I had one. Actually, I thought it was 6/7 days but things were a little better than that. Still with this kind of frequency, that's what it feels like!

Man I hope tomorrow's a good day! Oh, I was really tearful today, I don't know what was going on, could be something hormonal. Time will tell.

Well, this wouldn't be a truthful account if I didn't mention some of my thoughts recently. A friend of mine who shall remain completely anonymous said that her friend smokes weed. I've really been thinking lately that I would like to try it and see if it helps control migraine frequency or reduce pain. If it is something that helps I would approach my doctor and see if I could get a perscription for it.

I am quite nervous about talking to my doctor about it, but I also have a personal policy of being honest to the point of transparency. This is quite a big stretch I've reached, I think, to take this kind of drastic action, since it is illegal without a perscription. My main concern though, honestly, is to improve my quality of life. And, I have no intention of not pushing my doctors to provide this for me, or more importantly, give medical permission for me to use it if it helps.

There's a lot of controversy that surrounds this I know, especially as a Christian. I feel like in my own heart that this should be the last on a long list of things one should try. I have honestly no idea - exactly- how long the list of medications is that I've tried. But I noticed my neuro had about three pieces of paper stapled together of medications that I've taken/currently taking.

It's insane really. Everything I'm on so far is not doing it for me. I will have to increase dosages or add something else. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally willing to do that. But I'm also willing to try accupuncture, and I'm finding myself totally ready to try weed.

Of course I don't want to get caught, but I believe if fear is a thing I struggle with, I have more fear of my pain being frequent and/or out of control than getting busted for smoking pot. And, like I said, I must irriterate that I have ever intention of insisting that my doctor write a perscription for me if it works. I have a strong ethical need to be completely honest and I may even be so honest as to notify my doctor, before I try it illegally and let him know that is my plan.

hmmm....many things to think about.

another interesting week in the life of a chronic pain patient.

let's hope this last bit of honesty doesn't bite me in the butt, but then again, I am trying to deal with this problem I don't want and didn't ask for, the best way I can. And I'm trying to keep a humble approach about it all. Let's just say that more and more, I'm beginning to understand more about what others go through in life, and any judgements I've had, are slowly slipping away.

Understanding is a good thing, unfortunately it comes at a stinkin' high cost.

success in a syringe

The other day I described the body scan I do, or head scan, as soon as i become concious in the morning. This morning I was "50 % gone." Because I know that during this "hell week" or week of menstrual migraines that I will virtually have a really bad one every day, I decided to try to knock it out A.S.A.P.

Thursday evening when I gave myself the shot it went from bad to worse, so I was a little nervous. I had a fitting for a mouth guard @ 12:40 that I didn't want to cancel, but I had to take the chance and shoot up the DHE. I was confident that if the pain got bad that I could take the anti-anxiety medicine to help cope with the pain, and have someone take me to the doctor for an I.V. if I needed it. My hubs was sick with the flu today but I have a lot of friends who've offered to drive me when I'm unable.

First I took the compazine (anti-nausea med) because DHE can tend to make you nauseous. I waited 20 min. and prepared my syringe. When I was doing it I began to wonder if I even got the medicine in on Thursday afternoon.

Finally I psyched myself up and stuck the hurking 3 in. long needle into my thigh and slowly pushed the medicine in. I'm quite a good shot taker since as a child I spent seven years getting weekly allergy injections. It's just a little different shooting up yourself!

I know to keep your muscles relaxed or you can have a lot of muscle pain @ the site, and I am really good @ doing that even though I'm nervous. I probably gave myself about a 100 imitrex injections before. But as the medicine went in it really hurt and I had to just keep pushing it in. Fortunately it's only 1 ml. of medicine.

Almost immediately my thigh hurt so bad. I probably limped around for an hour. This helped me determine that I absolutely did not give myself a proper injection Thursday. It didn't hurt at all.

It's really no surprise I had difficulty Thursday as my pain was so high. Even when my pain is half that my thinking starts to really get impaired and slowed down. It takes me a long time to concentrate and think about something. This was what it was like when I was getting the syringe ready that day, but not today.

Also, about an hour after the shot my back by my shoulder blades was having a lot of pressure. Almost like someone was sitting on me. Then it would radiate to the front. I read the information that came with the medicine and it said if you have these symptoms to notify the doctor, advice nurse or pharmacist. I e-mailed my doctor but never heard anything back.

My side effects from the shot, except for that, were minimal. I mean, I'm not trying to downplay those symptoms, because they were distressing. If this is what it will always be like when I take the DHE it won't be like I can feel better and resume regular activity in an hour. It took about an hour for my head to feel good and then about 3 hours for the rest of my body to feel good. I took 2 Aleve which helped my back and chest immensely.

I was able to make my dental appointment and go for a short walk. Again, I didn't want to overdo it as I'm really gearing up for tomorrow. Especially with my husband sick now it is very important to me that I feel good to run the kids around tomorrow night. They will accept going along with someone else, but I know that my daughter especially will be disappointed if I am not able to go, and especially if my husband isn't able to go either.

Only time will tell though...